No Matter The Reason

We are all here for one reason or another. At this point it is important for us to understand why and use that information to move forward. At times moving forward seems to be the hardest part of the journey. We can not stay stagnant. Life comes in seasons and the next one can be as great as you want it to be. It really is in your hands. 

It Happened To Me

Some of us were blindsided by our spouses and that pain can be immense. You never imagined that you would be here. As far as you knew everything was going great and suddenly something occurred that you didn’t see coming. For some you saw it coming but you were still blindsided because you didn’t think it would go that far.

What you must do is forgive your ex so you can heal and get to a better place. We come into marriage carrying baggage and that is often what people stumble over. You didn’t deserve this. You have to forgive yourself for making a choice to love someone who was flawed. It’s time to let it go. 

I Set Things In Motion

There are those who caused great harm to their spouses because of their actions. Maybe you didn’t mean to but the issues you were wrestling with were stronger than you. It is your job to take hold of those deep wounds so that you can live a happier life. You have been stuck for a while and you can rise above your mistakes.

This would be a good time to sincerely ask for forgiveness if you have not done so. Taking ownership of your wrongdoing is the right thing to do. It will set you both free. I’m sorry. Two words have the power to unlock a world of pain. Pain is not a place you want to reside in. 

The Fog

There are couples who have been living in a fog for a very long time. It is a slow death of the marriage. People change. Both of them feel so miserable. They carry on with the business of life. They make comments and try to make it better but one or both of them just feel stuck. Staying married becomes the goal since others are getting divorced.

Suddenly one of them realizes that this is not the way to live. The one who walks away is very brave because they know that otherwise it never would have happened. That person takes the blame but actually had the courage to set them both free from the fog.

Squared Off

Couples can sometimes engage in war with each other and inflict wounds equally.  No one is willing to concede. Most of the time they won’t even remember how the original argument started. Each person is hurling insults and attempting to win each battle. All the while they are tearing down the fiber of their relationship.

Suddenly there is nothing left to salvage and they are left with ruins. This is very difficult to move on from because you can get stuck in that mode. It takes some serious work on self to come back from that. You certainly don’t want to continue down that path. Forgive each other and work on yourselves respectively. 

No matter the reason, we have all been through the fire. It’s time to heal through the power of forgiveness. Once we have a better understanding of ourselves, our partners and the roles we all played we can assess the situation differently. Hopefully we can be a little more gracious when we think of our exes, ourselves and future partners. We all need grace. 
Ali M

When I started Alimonia Life I was unsure of the direction, I just knew that I wanted to
create a safe space for anyone who found themselves on the road to divorce.
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