5 Things You Should Do
It has happened. You guys are done. Your friends know. Your families know. The kids know. The property is split. The papers have been filed. The court fees have been paid. You’ve moved out. They’ve moved out. The initial shock is over. You’ve changed your Facebook profile picture back to just being you. It’s OVER.
Now what?
Your life is about to undergo a complete reset. 2 months ago, you were part of a unit and now it’s a skeleton crew over here. How do you go about building the “2.0” version of your life? It was supposed to be forever and now forever is taking a different direction. Anything is possible at this point, but here are a few things to consider now that the show is over.
Go see a dang therapist
This is certainly something I should have done. Talking to a counselor can help a ton in processing the grief that a divorce ushers in. Even if you’re feeling pretty good about the whole thing, go talk to someone. Telling your story to an unbiased party gets it off your chest and out of your system. You need to release all of those emotions that you have been stockpiling. They can also point out your negative patterns in a safe way to help you stay on the up and up.
Stick to your routine
There is nothing that says you have to completely change your whole life just because your relationship didn’t work out. You don’t have to get bangs or buy a motorcycle to try and fill that void. It’s healthy and acceptable to stay in your lane for a while and take inventory of your life. This is a very important time in your life and you should be present in the moment. The last thing you want to do is let go of “normal” when you’re going through a big change. Keep it simple.
Do something you’ve been putting off
In relationships, we ALL compromise. This is something that is necessary for any functioning relationship; the biproduct of two people trying to live like one. Whatever it is you’ve been putting off, go do it. Whether it be rock climbing, watching that ONE movie they would never watch, get back to church, start walking in the mornings, go fishing, learning how to make balloon animals, dying your hair purple – WHATEVER it is, go do it.
Get a spa treatment
You have been through a lot. Even if your separation was on the easier side, it’s still an upheaval and you deserve some pampering. Maybe you could go get a microdermabrasion facial, a manicure, or a good old fashioned 60-minute massage? This is especially nice if you have been tense for a long time- dealing with everything. Treating yourself to some relaxation can remind you that the world is good and in turn, you are good too.
Flirt
Dating should probably be off the table for a little while, but maybe try flirting with a stranger or that coworker you’ve developed a crush on. It’s harmless and fun to get that rush of laughing with someone you think is cute. Allow yourself to relax and have some fun. They say laughter is the best medicine and when you top that with a little flirty energy you’ve got yourself an absolute cure.
Holding space for yourself is crucial right now. Respect your own boundaries and give it time. No one is expecting you to jump back into being normal(that is gone anyway) or to be married again any time soon. Explore the different routes your life can take. There is so much to explore and discover for the new phase of your life.
KW
When I started Alimonia Life I was unsure of the direction, I just knew that I wanted to
create a safe space for anyone who found themselves on the road to divorce.
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