When the Sanctity of Marriage Breaks Down
For centuries, marriage has been revered as a sacred institution—a bond meant to last a lifetime, through thick and thin. However, as societal norms and values evolve, so too does our understanding of marriage and divorce. Contrary to traditional beliefs, divorce is not a taboo or a failure but rather a legitimate option for individuals seeking to prioritize their well-being and pursue a path of personal growth and fulfillment. In this blog post, we’ll explore the empowering truth that divorce is a valid choice for those in unhappy or unhealthy relationships.
Challenging Traditional Beliefs:
The concept of marriage as a sacred union ordained by a higher power has long been ingrained in cultural and religious narratives. However, this idealized notion often overlooks the reality of human relationships, which are inherently complex and multifaceted. While marriage can be a source of love, companionship, and support, it is not immune to challenges, conflicts, and irreconcilable differences. It is important to acknowledge that marriage is a human construct—a social institution shaped by cultural norms, legal frameworks, and individual beliefs. As such, it is subject to scrutiny, reevaluation and if necessary, dissolution.
For those among us who have really tried to save our marriage and refuse to live in misery, divorce is a remedy—a medicine if you will. Sometimes the medicine is strong and can have unpleasant side effects: excommunication, lawyer fees, custody battles, lifestyle disruptions and for some with adult children, falling out.
Why Would Anyone Get a Divorce?
That’s Easy:
The relationship is awful. But what makes it so awful? First, if there has been domestic violence, lack of communication, lack of love, infidelity, constant misunderstanding or even lack of support. All of these issues signal that the “sacredness” of holy matrimony is no longer in tact for the two of you.
But What About God or Supreme Being?
To believe that a loving God wants you to be physically abused by your spouse or be in a relationship where you aren’t loved or appreciated rather than get a divorce is what therapists call “cognitive dissonance.” An example of cognitive dissonance is wanting to be healthy, but not exercising regularly or eating a nutritious diet. The same goes for marriage: You may want the happy marriage you desire, but you don’t want to go through a divorce.
More Reasons to get a Divorce
What else would qualify a marriage for divorce?
Your formerly employed spouse decides, without consulting you, to quit their job and live off your labor. (I’ve had men and women in my office who’ve done this.)
Your formerly sober spouse becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol to the point that they scream or laugh at you when you ask them to get help—or your sweet spouse becomes a hopeless gambler and drags you and everyone else they know down the financial drain with them, while also making fun of you for urging them to get help.
Your thrill seeker of a spouse can’t seem to get into the whole straight life of obeying the law (so boring) and you keep hearing the infamous “cop knock” at your door at all hours.
Your formerly hot and very satisfying sex life has evaporated and you can’t even get a conversation going on the matter.
Your formerly mainstream spouse has joined an alt-reality religious group and now justifies all the Behavior “in the name of the Lord.”
For its sacredness to be intact, marriage, and any partnership of a marital nature shouldn’t involve any of the aforementioned. Despite what anyone says, you—yes, you—get to say, “Hey! I didn’t sign up for this, and I have a right to a life with sex, sobriety, and economic security without financial armageddon, religious mania, or any other self-destructive drama.”
Rather than live in significant discomfort for the rest of your life, all you have to do is act, pay a little money to an attorney and get on with your life. It’s going to be a great, possibly sacred, life decision.
Joseph Abdalla