Divorce, Day One or Ten Years

We are all in varying stages of divorce. Whether you just filed or it’s been ten years or more, you are a work in progress. We will be in a constant state of growth and change. That is never a bad thing. What it says is that you know there is always room for growth. With growth comes healing. Healing opens the door to a gratifying life.

If you are contemplating divorce, you are faced with the challenge of deciding your future. Chances are that you have been here for a while. You have asked yourself if there is anything else you can do. Is your spouse willing to do the work? If the answer is yes then you owe it to yourself to try. If your answer is no well you have to do what is in your best interest. Life is precious and you deserve peace.

There are those who are well into the process of divorce and it is feeling so real right now. A life that started off with love is now being parceled off and repackaged. It feels so foreign and cold. Surround yourself with lots of love and care. Like my grandma always says and I believe it now, this too shall pass. This is a season in your life where you are going to develop life long skills for survival. You are going to survive.

To be just on the other side of court and paperwork, you would think that life would be calm now. That only happens in the movies. This is where the real work begins. It can be an emotional roller coaster. You also have to contend with some of the last minute logistical issues. Things like insurance and assets have to be reassigned. If there are kids involved that adds another level of stress. Every single one of you is dealing with the fallout from the divorce. It manifests itself is so many different ways and you have to address them. If not the issues will address you.

Many people have been divorced for years and are still very much impacted by it. The emotional toll unchecked can be difficult. Unresolved traumas can manifest in a life lived on repeat. The way out of the cycle is to process and heal those areas. It is important to identify them. Then you can work to reprogram yourself. Therapy is a great way to do that. Set yourself free.

No matter what stage you are in, we all experience the ups and downs. The goal is to be able to cope with both. We triumph and then another area of trauma gets exposed. Acknowledgement opens the door for positive change. Celebrate the good times and tend to yourself in the hard times.

Regina H