Divorce and Overcoming Sadness
Today I was reminded of an incident that occurred on the first day of school. It caught me off guard. I had to do the work to process what really happened. Being triggered occurs on a regular basis but it’s how we move through it that helps us to transition in a healthy way.
Two years ago my ex and I were doing the first day of school drop offs. Our youngest child likes to walk down the path to the back gate. We usually see the familiar faces of parents, kids and dogs along the way. It’s a hike that we’ve taken with all of the kids. I always found it to be a great jumpstart to the morning.
As we reached the gate and began to say our goodbyes, my kid raced off to start the day. I stood there watching the scene of parents who had survived the summer realizing that they were now free. I noticed a couple that I see most mornings. They leaned in to kiss, say “I love you” and he took off. I waved at my ex to go ahead of me because he was rushing to get to work. Suddenly, I had flashbacks of those moments in my own life. I felt sad. For the first time in over twenty years, I was walking away not only by myself but alone.
I fought back the tears as I headed up the hill. Then I realized that I would much rather be alone and happy than to be paired up and miserable. The last few years were rough and I had done the work to get to the other side. I also recognized that I am incredibly strong. What we did before parting ways had become ritualistic. At a certain point it did not feel authentic. That was definitely not the way I wanted to experience life or love. Having a love for self has been such a beautiful existence.
Along the way you will be confronted by triggers that rock you to your core. It’s how you respond to them that gives you the strength to pick yourself up and move on. Acknowledging and speaking to your triggers in truth is an incredible tool. Be honest with yourself. Show yourself lots of compassion. These are the important lessons that support you on your new journey.
Regina H