Co-Parenting Challenges and My Resolve

I remember that day like it was yesterday. I walked into a minefield with my ex. I looked and felt like I lost a war. I took photos of myself because I wanted to make sure it was the last time I allowed myself to be sent off an emotional cliff. For as rough as it was it ushered in the end of an era.

Co-parenting is not for the weak. It’s a gift of divorce that keeps on giving. So many times I had taken one for the team. This day was like many others in the past yet it was one of the worst. I went into the bathroom to get it together. I had a long talk with myself. I reminded myself of how incredibly strong I’d been for the sake of my kids. I praised myself for choosing to stand in the gap and do the right thing most of the time. When I emerged I was in a different place.

It probably took me two days to process everything that occurred. Although the events were very upsetting I have to be in control of my emotions. It’s beneficial for me to understand when my co-parent is intentionally or unintentionally pushing your buttons. Due to all that I’ve been through, everything can feel like a personal attack. I learned to resist the temptation to play the game. If you participate in an unhealthy way, you and the kids will lose.

Just because you choose to walk away doesn’t mean you have to absorb all of the negativity. Such interactions require you to take proper care of yourself. You may need to check in with your therapist, talk it out with a friend or do your self-care routine. Physical activity is a good way of releasing frustration. Whatever the method, process the feelings and put it to rest so you can be at peace. That will always be my goal from now on.

Ever since that day I have done very well to keep my emotions in check when I’m challenged. No longer do I hold it in or explode in anger. My well-being is my responsibility and I take care to keep me safe. I’m constantly looking for ways to improve myself and that’s the only person I have control over.

Regina H