Pictures, Books and Stuff After Divorce

I’ve been divorced for three years yet there are still some items that we need to settle. Over the last few years I have been thinking about how to deal with the lingering items. Then there are just times that I don’t even want to think about it. Some of them were difficult to process or divvy up.

Lately I’ve been thinking about the large cabinet full of photos. Oh and the wedding album is still in there. Who gets that? Who wants it? It’s full of memories that are a reminder of what was. I really don’t know what to do about that. Do we cut it in half? I remember buying that album at the Hallmark store near my job and going back to get extra pages. Now it’s just sitting in a cabinet over there collecting dust.

There are the framed pictures from the family photo wall that have been removed. Two of them are my grandparents original photos with the rose tint. Every time I reached the top of stairs, I saw their smiling faces and felt so much pride. My grandfather was dressed in his air force uniform with googles and my grandmother with her bright smile. I was asked to leave them there when I moved out so there weren’t too many immediate changes for the kids. I definitely wants them because they bring me joy

There is a bookcase full of books. Some are mine and some his. Over time I have taken the ones that I needed. I need to get the rest of them. Some can be donated. I’m really not sure what remains but I’m thinking if I haven’t needed them in four years, they aren’t that important.

The baby boxes were something I set up and maintained over the years. First haircut clippings, hospital bands, baby shoes and onesies. When I left I tried to take them, that started an argument. I left them. Later I was told I could take them because it wasn’t like I was going to hoard them. I was grateful as I had pride in those momentos. Birthdays are special times that we go through those boxes of treasures and I tell the story of each item.

I left so many items behind simply because they didn’t fit with my new place or frame of mind. There were items that I planned to pick up but never thought about them again. I tried hard to release so many items because they had too much nostalgia and pain. Sometimes stuff can become too much clutter in my mind and heart. The best way to move forward is to let some things go. That makes room for new items and memories. Here’s to all the good stuff to come.

Regina H