Divorce Brought A Boldness

Living in the shadows for so many years, I lost my voice. To be exact, I lost myself. Somehow in the wake of divorce I have found my strength. Maybe it’s the fact that I had to tear down everything that I thought was true in order to rebuild everything that I truly wanted to be. Whatever the case I am grateful for who I am becoming.

The new person that has emerged is not afraid to take risks, make mistakes or challenge the norm. Life is just a series of circumstances, decisions and consequences. Once you understand that then you won’t be afraid to live life on your own terms. That often requires us to challenge standards. You will be challenged to defend your position and that is when your boldness can shine.

Lately I have found myself in situations where I’m having to defend my position personally and professionally. The old me would have backed down from confrontations because I lacked confidence. I always wanted to be the peacemaker but I discovered that as the peacemaker I was left unsettled. Conflict is a part of life. You can deal with it or let it deal with you

Recently I supported a business of someone who was close to me. The entire ordeal was a disaster and I got the short end of the stick. Every time I questioned the person about the refund, I got a different story. After getting a partial refund, I laid into the owner and decided it was best to part ways. I can not remain close to someone who would rip me off and lie to me repeatedly.

There was a flood in the building where I rent space for my business. After the repairs were done, I reached out to the district manager to inform her that my space had been left very filthy. She went on about how the owners got the work done quickly so we could come back. I let her know that she was not addressing my issue. Then I read her the section of my lease that states the area should be returned to the prior condition. The owner replied that maybe the studio needed to be cleaned prior to the flood. I let him know that with the disruption of my business, I was not in the mood to be insulted. He decided to take care of my request to pay for the cleaning services that I had paid for. I was not going to be intimidated by the district manager or the owner.

I am bold. The new me is willing to go to the frontline. No longer am I afraid of the consequences that will arise if we can not come to an agreement. I’m also not questioning my stance unless there is a compelling reason. We have to become the protectors of our story. There is a greater plan at work here and if this situation is a hindrance to that plan, the decision is easy.

Stand firm in who you are and don’t back down from what is true. Manipulation is a tactic that others will use to get you to stand down. We are constantly being asked to accept lies as truth. We have a responsibility to defend what is right, not only for ourselves but our communities and the world at large. How will we do that if we are not willing to start with self?

Regina H