I’M MORE THAN A DISCARDED ITEM
When I decided to file for divorce I felt like a discarded item, something that no one wanted. You can’t help but to have those feelings when your relationship comes to an end. My marriage had died and there was a part of me that had died too. I kept thinking I was going to have a sign on my back that read “She is divorced. She has failed. She is done”. It can be a very dark place.
One day it hit me that in order for a marriage to be successful it takes two people working to sustain it. No matter how hard you try, you can not force your spouse to fight for your marriage. I deserved better and for me that meant walking away. Before I could do that I had to change my thought process. If you are heading for divorce you will have to be mentally prepared. This was not going to be an easy path.
I saw myself as something that had been set out on trash day. However I’m so much more than that. One day I sat down and wrote out everything that life had thrown at me and in spite of it all I managed to survive. It served as a reminder that I had always been strong. My past was plagued with abandonment, neglect and child abuse. They were the kind of situations that some people don’t come back from. It was my real life and yet I am here. If I had come through all of those storms then surely I could withstand this too. Like my grandmother always says “This too shall pass”.
Every great quality that I possess did not change because someone else could not appreciate them. Once I started looking at myself through that lens my outlook changed. Suddenly the evil things he said made me feel sorry for him and I didn’t let it get to me. But most importantly the paralyzing thoughts that tried to creep into my mind lost their power. I am strong and I have always been strong. I just needed to remind myself of that fact.
Ali M
When I started Alimonia Life I was unsure of the direction, I just knew that I wanted to
create a safe space for anyone who found themselves on the road to divorce.
Join our network, get the support you need.