I Knew That I Could Do It

Throughout the marriage my husband always tried to make me think that I could not survive without him. Anytime there was a discussion about separation he wanted to plant seeds of doubt in my mind. It was so important for him to me feel like he made me. He liked to talk about how financially challenging it would be for me. Because my childhood had been tough he felt that I had become “spoiled” and could not survive apart from him. What he didn’t know was that my childhood had prepared me for whatever I would encounter.

Manipulation and control were the pillars of his upbringing. It was so pervasive that everyone in the family had become experts in it. They wielded it like weapons upon each other and the wars were brutal. If you want to know where your partner’s issues lie, check the nest that they came from. It is there that you will find the blueprint and discover how they operate when they are pressed by life. It had been clear to me that he was still suffering from his own childhood trauma and it spilled over into adulthood. Yet he could not acknowledge it nor denounce it. You can not change what you will not acknowledge.

As a child I experienced trauma and learned how to deal with lots of situations. Those things made strong but they also conditioned me to stay longer than necessary. In addition to that I had never seen a successful relationship. So It’s only natural that I would struggle in that area. I left home at an early age and it seemed as if I was always running. Deep down inside I no longer wanted to run but the truth is that I should have a long time ago.

Once I made up my mind to leave, nothing was going to deter me. I had been manipulated long enough. If a person has good intentions for you they would not use those tactics on you. Nothing was ever going to change except the bitterness that was building up inside of me. I realized that the last thing I wanted to do was spend the rest of days being angry and resentful. I had faced many challenges and this was like every one that I had conquered. I had it in me. Most importantly I had reached a point where I knew that I could do it.

Ali M

When I started Alimonia Life I was unsure of the direction, I just knew that I wanted to
create a safe space for anyone who found themselves on the road to divorce.
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