Come Full Circle

Today I’m sitting in a beautiful restaurant above Central Park. 3 years prior I sat in this very restaurant and wondered why was I on this trip with my friends and not my husband. For years I begged him to take me to New York and it never happened. Though he had taken several business trips to New York he never found the time to take me. So at a certain point I decided to go with my friends. I was unaware that I had become accustomed to fulfilling my own needs within the marriage. That trip was an eye opening experience. It was the beginning of my transformation.

It was on that trip that I had an epiphany. I had been living in some kind of fog. There was something about the pulse of this city that jolted me into thought. I was not happy. I had not been happy for some time. It was like my whole being had come alive. I became aware that it was time for me to assess what was going on in my life. As I boarded the flight to head home I had no idea what was coming next. When a friend inquired about my trip I remember saying that I somehow felt different upon my return but I had not fully grasped what was taking place.

It would take me a couple of years to process everything and come to a conclusion. There was no other choice for me, for my well-being and peace I had to file for divorce. I could no longer co-sign for my unhappiness. The period that lead up to the filing was excruciatingly painful. I married for life. Counseling had not produced the results that I was hoping for. I was willing to try everything and I actually did. At the end of the day I, me, her, she could not save this thing. This is what liberated me. The responsibility for this marriage did not rest solely upon me. I did not have to be a martyr.

So as I sit above Central Park again I am reflecting on the time that has transpired since my last visit to NYC. The ink on my divorce paperwork has not yet dried but I am in a much better space. I pushed myself beyond all limitations and fought so hard for this new life. Physically. Emotionally. The depths that I had to go through to reach this point were unfathomable. There are tears of joy in my eyes now. I know that no matter what I am equipped to survive any challenge. I’m living life on another level. A few levels(18 to be exact) above Central Park at the moment.

No matter where you are on this journey please know that you will be fine. You will have hard days but they will not last forever. Just stay focused on your goals and challenge yourself to be present in your process. You have to go step by step. One day you will come full circle.

Ali M

When I started Alimonia Life I was unsure of the direction, I just knew that I wanted to
create a safe space for anyone who found themselves on the road to divorce.
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