My childhood was difficult. My mother was ill prepared for motherhood and my father was living a dark lifestyle. I lived with several family members. Eventually I went to live with another family member who I later discovered was an alcoholic. The abuse was emotionally and physically damaging.

I quickly learned how to navigate the mood swings and the violence. I endured 10 years of absolute madness. At the age of 17 I packed a trash bag and ran away. I went to live with my mom in another state. I thought things would be better but she was still the same person. She couldn’t handle a teenager and wanted to treat me like the child she last knew.

I left home early and bounced around in different situations. All of them were a struggle but I kept moving. Eventually I got my own place and I was at peace. However that wouldn’t last for long because I was carrying some heavy baggage. That baggage left me open to some rough relationships.

I finally met someone who I thought was good for me but I was still blinded by my past. The marriage was long and hard. The emotional abuse started from the beginning. I had managed to marry someone who was just as wounded as I was and the results were not good.

Freeing myself from this marriage was one of the best things that I have ever done for myself. I can look back and see how my past set the stage for my choices in life and then in my marriage. I DID NOT HONOR MYSELF. I had not been taught to do so. I had only been shown that no one wanted me. That is what I believed.

It would take me years and lots of work to understand that my past was hindering my future and everything I touched. Through counseling, journaling and exercising I learned to appreciate ME. That work was so important for me to do in order to change my life.

If you want to make a positive change in your life you will have to examine your past. You must go back and figure out how you got to this point so you can find another route. It is very painful to dig up the past. If you don’t do the work, you will revisit your issues over and over again through your experiences. You deserve more than a life lived on repeat. GREATER IS WAITING ON YOU.

Ali M

When I started Alimonia Life I was unsure of the direction, I just knew that I wanted to
create a safe space for anyone who found themselves on the road to divorce.
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