Surviving divorce has a way of making you feel like you are invincible. For a period of time you work to get through so many challenges. After it’s all over you think that you can conquer the world. Then one day you realize that you don’t need to be invincible all the time because it’s not sustainable. That tough exterior that you love to display will start to come apart. This is where you get to self correct.

Being strong and brave is a beautiful thing that helps you get through the tough times. However, you can not maintain that facade forever. Since my divorce I have, at times found myself in a place of exhaustion due to the fact that I was trying to be a pillar to everyone and everything. People start to see you as a post they can lean on. You must have balance in your life so that you don’t wear yourself thin. You must implement some good boundaries to protect yourself. Sometimes you need protection from yourself.

Recently I found myself overwhelmed due to overextending myself. I was spent mentally, emotionally and physically. It took me a while to figure it out because it started out  like an upset stomach. I thought perhaps I had eaten the wrong thing. So I kept my diet simple for a couple days and pressed on. I began to feel worse and then the exhaustion set in. I got in bed. While I was there I had time to think about how I got here. I began to journal and explore my deepest thoughts.

People have always felt comfortable to open up to me about very personal details of their lives. It happens with strangers all the time. It is a gift. I realized I have been too accessible. I am always helping others and there is nothing wrong with that until it gets out of balance. It is truly my responsibility to regulate the amount of giving I am doing. We have no one to blame but ourselves when we get depleted. Therefore it is our job to get ourselves back in order. I needed to shutdown. I rested. I reviewed. I reset.

There are situations in our lives that we need to prioritize and properly categorize for our own good. Some situations we can help and it takes little effort. Others take more energy and need to be placed on the list to be tackled at the appropriate time. Then there are issues that we can not take on because they are just out of our scope. It’s so important to determine how to address each issue that arises.

Going forward I will be assessing the situations that appear so that I know best how to deal with them. To be certain that I’m being intentional, I will have to be my own gatekeeper. By doing so I can be most effective in my life and those around me. We are ineffective when we take on more than we can handle and are unable to deliver. At this stage of life I want to set myself up to win.

Regina H