For some reason people keep asking me if I would ever get married again. I’m not quite sure why that seems to be such a popular inquiry aimed at those of us who are divorced. I can’t seem to escape that question. I’m in no rush to get to the chapel. I’m only trying to get down the aisle of the grocery store. Can I just enjoy being me? That is top of my list right now.

In some ways I get it because maybe your friends want to see you “happy” again. If there’s anything I have learned in the whole process, it’s that I need to create and maintain my happiness. No one is going to show up with a can of happiness for me. That’s not to say that someone can’t bring joy to my life. Ultimately It’s my responsibility to create the blueprint.

No, I don’t think I want to contemplate marriage right now. I’m not even sure I would be a great guest at a wedding anytime soon. There is that part when the officiant asks if anyone has something to say and I would have to struggle to be quiet. I would probably wear tennis shoes so I could run out.

All jokes aside, I still believe in love. Even more so now that I have learned to love myself. Loving yourself is hard work but once you get there I’m sure it would be nice to find someone once you feel whole. You live and love on a different level. You see past someone’s imperfections because you have done that for yourself. You also become an advocate for your needs and those you love.

You hear stories of people who remarry and divorce again. Then you also hear about people who remarry and it’s works well for them. So you never know how it will turn out. You just have to do what you think is best for you after you have thoroughly analyzed the situation. When you’re young you marry for love or at least what you believe to be love. Perhaps the best way to look at it is to marry for love but include all the areas on your spreadsheet. Analyze all of the data.

In essence I would have to say that although I’m not in a rush to get remarried, I’m not completely opposed to the idea. Just because my marriage did not work out doesn’t mean that it’s not for me. I’m keeping an open mind because I definitely don’t want to let my past experience divert me away from a good thing. For now I’m doing just fine. The next time someone asks the question, I’ll tell them I’m getting married again tomorrow. The look on their face will make a great GIF.

Regina H