So, the fairytale fizzled. The castle (or, more likely, the condo) isn't filled with laughter anymore. You're left with a heart full of "what ifs" echoing in the empty rooms. We've all been there. Divorce is a gut punch, and those "what ifs" can feel like a constant mental game of torture. But here's the thing: you can learn to live with them, and you can move forward. Here's how:

Acknowledge The "What Ifs"

Those nagging questions about "what if we tried harder?" or "what if we communicated better?" are natural. Don't bottle them up. Talk to a friend, therapist, or even vent into a journal. Processing these thoughts is crucial, but don't let them become a prison. Set aside specific times to acknowledge the "what ifs," then actively choose to focus on the present and the future. I chose to write things down and see how long it would take me before I no longer felt the need to write.

Forgive Yourself

We all make mistakes. Maybe you weren't perfect in the marriage. That's okay. Forgive yourself for any missteps, and consider forgiving your ex (even a little). Forgiveness doesn't mean condoning their actions; it means releasing yourself from the burden of anger and resentment. Holding onto those feelings will only hinder your healing.

Focus On What You Can Control

You can't rewrite history, but you can control your present and future. Channel your energy into things you can influence: your career, your health, your hobbies. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself. This proactive approach will not only distract you from the "what ifs" but also create a positive future you can be proud of. After my divorce, I took a whole new journey on fitness, changing my diet and exercise routine. Since then, I have never looked back.

Embrace The Uncertainty

The end of a marriage might feel like the end of a plan, but it can also be the beginning of exciting possibilities. You're no longer confined by expectations. It's a chance to explore new paths, discover hidden passions, and rewrite your own story. Embrace the uncertainty – it might lead you to something extraordinary.

Find Your Tribe

Divorce can be isolating. Don't let yourself become a hermit. Lean on your friends, family, anyone who makes you feel good. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who will celebrate your victories and pick you up when you fall. You’re not the only person who has gone through a divorce.

Remember, You're Not Alone:

Millions of people go through divorce. It's not a reflection of your worth. You are strong, capable, and deserving of happiness. Believe in yourself, and trust that you will emerge from this stronger and more resilient than ever before.

This journey won't be easy, but you've got this. The "what ifs" will fade with time, replaced by the exciting possibilities of a new chapter. So, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get ready to write the next amazing part of your story.

 Hasib Afzal