Once you decide to file for divorce one of your most valuable assets will be your supportive friends. My friend R came over and handed me a hundred dollars. I told her that I will pay her back and she insisted that I would not. I started crying. In my most vulnerable moment she was there for me with no expectations. Then J told me that if I needed a place to stay I was welcome to use her guest room. I was overwhelmed by the kindness of my friends. They truly will hold you up when you are falling down.

It’s amazing how God will see you in a painful moment, you feel so down and suddenly someone will reach out to you to brighten your day. One day I went into my closet, slid down the wall and just cried. Then my phone rang and it was M. I could barely speak. She patiently waited for me to compose myself to tell her what was going on. After I got it out she just encouraged me by saying that I am one of the strongest women she knows. She talked about how I was there for her through an illness. I felt so much better. She had no idea how crucial that call was for me.

My friend N was there for me day and night offering a listening ear and sound advise. She never judged me or treated me harshly. I could really be open and my emotions were very raw. I knew that I could tell her anything. She was incredibly patient and supportive. One weekend she accompanied me on a getaway. We had some deep conversations that helped me put things in perspective. I felt lighter when we returned. We all need someone like N in our corner.

I will caution you about that friend who never has anything positive to say. That was A. She felt the need to be judgmental and argumentative. A could not seem to understand my decisions so she started being verbally abusive. I didn’t know what was going on. One day she started in on me and because I was already under so much stress I yelled at her, threw the phone and it hung up on her. I haven’t spoken to her since then.

The situation with A really bothered me and I had to figure this out. From the time that I told her I was going to file for divorce she became pushy with her opinions. If I didn’t agree with her she would get agitated. It took a turn when I told her I was going to buy a home. She tried to advise me against it. I knew that it was possible and also a goal to do it for my kids. She had been married a couple times and the divorces did not go in her favor. A could not accept that this was not going to be the case for me. And there it was. Beware of snakes disguised as friends.

Make sure your team is on board because you won’t have time for negativity. Some days are really tough to get through and those lifelines are vital. All of the good things that you have done for others will come back to you when you are most in need. AND YES YOU ARE DESERVING OF EVERY GOOD DEED THAT IS HEADED YOUR WAY!

Ali M

When I started Alimonia Life I was unsure of the direction, I just knew that I wanted to
create a safe space for anyone who found themselves on the road to divorce.
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