As this year comes to a close, I am reflecting on all of the lessons learned. There were some great moments and some true challenges. Overall I survived and I feel more equipped for next year. This is the year that I hit my stride after my divorce and I want to carry the momentum into 2024.

The beginning of the year started off with me preparing to tell my story for the first time. About six months prior I made the decision to use my voice and story to help others. It wasn’t long after that I was asked to speak at an abuse symposium. I had to sit down to compose myself because I was in shock that it was becoming a reality.

Sharing my story was so liberating and reinforced my mission. At the end of the event so many people wanted to speak to me privately about their experiences. That very day I was asked to speak at a conference two months later. I began preparing right away and wrote a workbook. All of this was so foreign to me yet I was up for the challenge. I reached out to all of my mentors who had experience to get some guidance. I was able to help some people who were in the thick of their divorces. I had to learn how to take care of myself after giving my all to these events.

In March I got some not so good news. My seven year old well maintained car needed some expensive repairs. I had two choices. I could throw a ton of money into my car or trade it in. I chose the latter. This presented a challenge as my ex husband always handled negotiations. Suddenly I remembered that a friend was a car enthusiast and excellent at negotiating.  I reached out to his wife and he agreed to help me. He was on the phone with me through the whole ordeal. I had the support I needed and I learned a lot from him. I got a great deal on a vehicle that I love.

For my birthday I planned to take a solo international trip. Departing out of Mexico added another level of difficulty that had my friends and family concerned for me. I reassured them that I would be fine. I had done my research and I was prepared. The resort was absolutely amazing and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I met people from all over the world. I still keep in contact with some of them. I was proud of myself for stepping outside of my comfort zone for this beautiful experience. A few years ago I never would have considered this trip alone.

Upon my return my business was displaced due to a flood in the building. It took about a month for the repairs to be completed. By then damage had been done because my alternate location was thirty minutes away and a challenge for some clients. This was truly out of my control and I had to work through it as best as I could. This was yet another issue to add to the list of problem there. During that time I looked for another location and discovered that a new place was under construction in close proximity. So the first week of 2024 I’m moving into a brand new location. I’m excited about the new beginning.

This year I took my physical fitness to another level. I’ve always worked at it but this year I made it a priority. I am in the best shape of my adult life. Everything that I had been doing in the last few years was good but not giving me the results that I truly wanted. So this year I swapped out my gym equipment for items that I felt would work better for me. Then I committed to at least 5 days a week. People ask me how much weight I’ve lost and I reply that I haven’t last any weight. For me it’s not about weight but how I look and feel.

This year I have had to reevaluate my relationships. I love the reconnections that have taken place. Some have been downgraded based on the nature of the relationship. There are connections that have been elevated because they are of value to me. Then there were those I had to eliminate. As painful as that was, it was necessary for me to maintain peace. I am appreciative of the people who have chosen to be present in my life. I am making in effort to maintain those relationships.

Thanks to divorce I have the presence of mind to value life in a different way. This year was full of beautiful experiences and powerful lessons. I’m grateful for everything that transpired because it enhanced my life in one way or another. Divorce has given me the courage and strength to live beyond all self imposed limitations. I look forward to 2024 knowing that I am living authentically and intentionally.

Regina H