Some people only have the capacity to love you on their own terms. They will only do what they deem is best for you based on the fact they think you don’t know what you need. It is out of a need to control you. Since you have no idea about anything, they take on this role and dress it up as love. Everything they do for you is a foothold designed to reshape you into someone who is totally dependent upon them for your every thought. You will receive gifts and deeds that have no value to you. The giver finds joy in this because it is furthering their cause in educating you on what you need. It’s a twisted game that brings them pleasure. All the while it is stripping you of your power.

The more you resist this intrusion into your mind the more you will clash with this person. After all they know better than you do or at least that is what they honestly believe. Now they take issue with you because they see you as being ungrateful for what they are trying to do for you. How can you be so unwise. You are having an awakening. You are beginning to see that you have been brainwashed by the very one who claimed to love you. It doesn’t feel good.

Untangling yourself from this type of person will not be easy. Their need for control over you is masking some deep insecurities that they possess. You will need support to do so. It could be a therapist, friends or your family. Exercise will be a great way to release the frustration and give you more energy. Do all that you can to build yourself up and stay strong. You will be in a battle for your own peace and happiness. Peace and happiness will be the keys to the next phase of your life. Think about what that will look like for you and use that as motivation. The great part about that is that you get to design your next chapter.

When someone has good intentions, they will seek to love you the way you desire to be loved. We all give and receive love differently. The goal of a person who wants your heart should be to discover the pathway to showing you the love you desire. That is where true love can exist. No one can tell you how you need to be loved. So your job is to understand how you receive love. You can not be loved if you don’t know what you need. YOU MUST FIRST LOVE YOURSELF SO THAT YOU CAN TEACH ANOTHER HOW TO LOVE YOU.

Ali M

When I started Alimonia Life I was unsure of the direction, I just knew that I wanted to
create a safe space for anyone who found themselves on the road to divorce.
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