I’m going through a divorce during a pandemic. I didn’t plan it that way and it certainly has been very interesting. Initially I thought I must be the unluckiest person to file for divorce and then Covid strikes the whole world. People were instructed to shelter in place and I was devastated. I was going to have to shelter in place with the last person I wanted to be with. This was some kind twisted joke right? I was in shock for a few days. The virus was spreading and the death count was rising. Life as we knew it was coming to a halt and people were terrified. Everything was upside down.

I was unable to work for nearly two months. It felt like every emotion was magnified because I had so much time on my hands. I was trying to survive mentally and physically at the same time. It wasn’t easy living with someone who was angry because I’d made a decision for my life. I would have to go out to search for food and household items for a family of 5. Those trips became my stress relief. I starting taking long walks to clear my mind. For a short time I could focus on something else.

Typically when you tell your close friends that you filed for divorce they come to comfort you but the pandemic made that impossible. The phone became my lifeline where texts and calls replaced hugs. When I was having a bad moment I couldn’t just go visit a friend and they couldn’t stop by to check on me. My closest friends were terrified of the virus. We would schedule video happy hours and I looked forward to them. Eventually those faded.

In the beginning I was crushed that all of these situations were colliding at one time. One day I started to see it differently and realized that I had been handed a gift of time. It changed my perspective. Most people go through a divorce and the world keeps on spinning. For me the world came to a stop. Everything slowed down to a crawl. I didn’t have to work and juggle so many things that I became overwhelmed. I started using the time to plan for my new future. There were so many decisions to be made and I needed to be clear about what I wanted.

Given the space and time I was able to work on myself, take care of my family and plan for my future. However some days were tough and I would stretch out on my closet floor and cry. Those dark days challenged everything inside of me but I stayed focused on the future and I pushed my way through. Deep inside of me I tapped into a will to not only survive but to thrive. Sometimes we just need to change our perspective so we can actually see where we are headed.

Ali M

When I started Alimonia Life I was unsure of the direction, I just knew that I wanted to
create a safe space for anyone who found themselves on the road to divorce.
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