Divorce can be a turbulent experience for anybody, and when it comes to men, that is no exception. And yet, not much is often spoken about just how seismic the change can be. Men usually go from being the head of a household to no longer feeling useful, as if they are on the scrap heap. 

The divorce courts may look favourably upon a woman, especially if she has children. With that in mind, here are the top tips that men should bear in mind when going through a divorce.

Get Finances Sorted

The importance of financial documents cannot be understated. Unless it is written down on paper, more often than not, the chances of proving otherwise are next to none. This is particularly true when it comes to ownership documents such as title deeds or bank account names. 

In order to avoid any problems down the line, make sure you have copies of everything you need. This is what I did when I got divorced, which made the whole process a lot more efficient—every document that I needed I had on hand. 

Avoid Dating During The Divorce

We get it...The divorce is almost over, but as the old saying goes, it isn't over until the fat lady sings. The last thing you want to do is end up getting into a relationship and then realizing that the divorce process is actually going to take a lot longer. 

Trying to explain that to your prospective partner is not going to do you any favors. After all, it is hardly the most romantic thing in the book. Until everything is finalized, you're off the market.

Keep Kids Out Of It

If you have children, it is very tempting that you want to go the extra mile. But don't let it put you in a position where you end up comparing who is better. Kids will often tell you what you want to hear, and in any event, it does not help if there is a rivalry between their mother and father. Instead, try to build a bridge with your soon to be ex for the sake of the children. It will only avoid heartache going forward.

Don't Stalk Social Media.

The feeling that you're going to get divorced is hard to swallow. This is particularly true if your other half is dealing with it much better than you. All those images of her enjoying herself being plastered on social media may not tell the whole story. People only show what they want others to see. Don't beat yourself up, or waste your time getting jealous at what others may be saying. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. 

This is not an exhaustive list of what men should do, and equally, nor is it gender-specific.

These things could easily be applied to women, but my experience as a man who has been through a divorce has taught me that the points mentioned above can make that transition into a newly single man a whole lot easier.

 Hasib Afzal

When I started Alimonia Life I was unsure of the direction, I just knew that I wanted to
create a safe space for anyone who found themselves on the road to divorce.
Join our network, get the support you need.