There are many people who struggle with their decision to divorce due to their religious beliefs. Most religions have very strict guidelines when it comes to divorce. Depending on your interpretation or guidance from your counsel, you can feel trapped. That can lead to a very long and painful road. Hopefully you will find the peace you need for your life in the event that you have to make the decision to divorce.

For me, I believed that I was responsible for keeping my marriage together. Any thoughts that I had about leaving made me feel selfish and guilty. Based on the Christian beliefs, I was not sure that my situation qualified for a divorce. I realize that I did not understand the severity or depth of my marital issues. Thankfully I made the decision with the understanding that I had to save myself and In doing so I would be able to salvage the remainder of my life.

In the work that I do I have spoken to many people who quote scriptures and believe that they have to “endure” the pain and suffering. That is not to say that marriages don’t go through struggles. Life produces struggles. I firmly believe that each person will have to do their very best to maintain a loving union. If two people are not working to preserve the marriage it’s inevitable that whatever is not nurtured will die.

Many people believe that the reasons for divorce are cheating and abandonment. A common belief is that abandonment refers to when a spouse leaves the home and won’t return. To me abandonment comes in different forms. It could be physical, emotional or sexual. There is no reason for a person to withstand continuous abuse in any form of abandonment. It is extremely damaging to one’s self esteem. We are all called to a purpose in our lives and abuse, no matter the form is destructive to that purpose.

It is so important to figure out what is best for your life. If you are struggling with your marriage, wrestling with your religion then please seek out a therapist who will help you come to a resolution that works for you. No one can tell you what to do but rather give you the tools to make your own decision.

I believe that God wants us to be happy and at peace. That is how we will operate at an optimal level in life. Hopefully, it will be that you can save your marriage. However if that is not possible then work to be at peace with the decision to move on with your life free from guilt and shame.

Happy Healing.

Regina H