Have I gotten over my divorce? That’s a question that people love to ask me. They don’t understand that it is a loaded question. Generally they will assume that they know the answer. Most times the answer is a quick affirmative. To be honest, the real answer is not quite so simple.

The truth is that you don’t just get over a divorce but you learn how to live through it all. Most days I am incredibly strong and moving on with ease. Then there are days when I’m questioning my own progress. All of that is very normal. It has been an up and down experience. Therapy has been a big part of my growth and healing.

Reminding myself why I chose divorce has been very helpful in the rough moments. I made this decision based on the fact that I had lost myself. The only way to recover my identity was to exit the marriage. So whatever challenges I have along the way are a part of my journey back to me. I’m learning to embrace them because you can not have growth without adversity. How else would you discover your weaknesses or measure your successes?

I am a work in progress. For those of us who are coparenting with an ex there will always be challenges. They come out of nowhere. That is when I have learned to focus on the  end goal. It’s not always easy but it is necessary. My kids deserve a peaceful environment after all they have been through. I make sacrifices for their happiness. Then there are times that I must choose a battle and see it through to the end. It’s important to learn which method to use for each situation.

Overall I am doing well. I’m happy with my life and I’ve learned how to manage the issues that come with the territory. Those who truly know me have said that they notice the difference. So as you can see, getting over a divorce is not a quick fix. It is a daily process. Please do not absorb the pressure of questions that can make you doubt yourself. The work you do now will help you with your past and prepare you for your amazing future. You are worth it.

Regina H