A romance scam occurs when a criminal creates a fake profile and expresses romantic interest in another person online. This can happen either through a dating app or website, an online chat room, or a social media platform – to quickly create a feeling of intimate trust with the intention of scamming the victim out of money or other valuables.

Romance scammers tend to prey on older individuals who are divorced or widowed. They target victims’ insecurities and desires and will work to develop an intimate "relationship” as quickly as possible. They want to then lure the victim into sharing personal or financial information.

Scammers will attempt to make the victim feel special and needed. They may propose marriage and discuss meeting in person, but will never follow through on either promise. Romance scams can happen to persons of any gender and can be very devastating both financially and emotionally.

 

Who can become a victim of a romance scam?

As mentioned above, romance scammers target widowed and divorced people, but their reach is not limited to just that group. We all want to be loved and feel like someone cares about us. It doesn’t matter whether you are old or young, male or female, single or married; in as much as you want to feel loved or for whatever reason you seek online dating, you can be a victim.

There have been cases of married men getting scammed by women they meet. online as well as cases of married women getting scammed by their online lover. The only reason why divorcees are more likely to become victims is because they tend to have a strong desire to be loved. A divorced man who goes online to meet a new woman can fall victim. Same can be the fate of a divorced woman who chooses to meet prospective dates online.

These scammers prey on something that we all possess which is the need to be loved. Therefore, it can happen to anybody.

 

Ways to Spot a Romance Scammer

Unfortunately, romance scams increased by nearly 40% between 2018 and 2019. Like all online scams, romance scams are on the rise. Romance scammers will manufacture all sorts of false stories, promises, and crises designed to get their victims to feel sorry for them and send them money. With the increased popularity of dating apps and sites, it can be challenging to spot fake profiles that actually belong to romance scammers.

Here are signs to help you spot a romance scam.

• The scammer is quick to call it love. They will be quick to "fall in love” and profess their love earnestly. Their goal is to manipulate the victim emotionally as quickly as possible before the victim realizes they’re being scammed.

• The scammer will often use endearing, loving terms such as "dear,” "darling,” and "love of my life.” And they’ll attribute the budding romance to destiny or fate, making the victim feel as special as possible.

• Romance scammers may also propose marriage extremely quickly. They may convince their victims to "save them” from extremely unfortunate circumstances by marrying them, offering over-the-top gratitude for the victim’s love and support.

• If someone you’re actively messaging begins trying to build an intimate relationship in a very short amount of time, be wary that it may be a romance scam.

• The scammer's profile contains vague or few images across platforms. Another way to tell if the person you’re messaging may be a romance scammer is by their profile pictures. These scammers will often impersonate someone else and likely only have one or two images of the person they’re pretending to be. The images that they typically use are of someone who is very attractive. The stolen images appear to be those of a model.

In contrast, authentic dating site users often have multiple pictures of themselves in various situations ranging from face shots to full body shots. Romance scammers may include images on their profiles that show only a portion of their face. Those pictures aren’t necessarily recognizable against the other pictures on their profile.

 

• The scammer makes plans to meet you, but an emergency comes up. Romance scammers usually use fake profile images in order to protect their own identities. To keep you interested and prevent you from questioning their identity, they will continually make promises to meet in person, even if that means taking an international flight. However, as your meeting date approaches, the romance scammer will typically have an emergency that arises. Their stories are often elaborate and emotional, which can be quite convincing to a victim blinded by love. These fabricated emergencies lead to a perfect opportunity for them to ask you for financial help.

 

How to Protect Yourself from Romance Scammers

Romance scams can happen to anyone. However, data from the BBB 2019 Scam Tracker Risk Report show that older women are at the highest risk for falling victim to romance scams.

If you’re dating online, implement the following best practices to protect yourself from romance scammers.

• Pay attention to red flags

The more you aware, the more easily you’ll be able to spot romance scammers. Pay attention to the red flags outlined above and follow your intuition if something feels off with the person you’re communicating with.

A genuine romance interest will understand – and hopefully even appreciate – your cautiousness regarding safety and be willing to give you the time you need to ensure they’re a legitimate person. Alternatively, a romance scammer may pressure you to stop "being paranoid” and urge you to trust them no matter what.

 

• Allow relationships to develop slowly and naturally

 It’s natural to want to fall in love and experience a whirlwind, storybook romance. But authentic relationships often develop over time. Get to know your new love interest and allow them ample time to get to know you. If this person wants to move too quickly, consider that this may not be a safe relationship to pursue.

• Research the person you're communicating with

These days, most people have multiple social media profiles on various platforms with tons of photographs documenting their lives. Research your cyber sweetheart’s presence on other platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and even LinkedIn to verify that they are who they say they are.

 

• Share your feelings with a trusted friend or family member

Sometimes it can be difficult to see manipulation when it’s happening to you in the moment. When you’re involved in online dating, it’s always a good idea to share your experiences with a trusted friend or family member. Even if you can’t see suspicious activity for what it is, consulting with someone close to you can prove invaluable, as he/she can view the relationship from an outside perspective.

 

Have you been scammed by a romance scammer? Remember that falling victim to a scammer can happen to anyone. It’s normal to feel ashamed or embarrassed after you’ve been scammed, but perfectly intelligent people fall victim to scammers every day. There is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, try discussing it with people you can trust. Talking about your experience can help lessen those feelings of shame and protect others from being victimized in the future.

 Joseph Abdalla